Children can be funny. Take the following religious bloopers collected by National Review writer Richard Lederer. These student bloopers are all genuine and unedited.
In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.
Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark.
Noah built an ark, which the animals came on to in pears.
Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
The First Commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
The Fifth Commandment is humor thy father and mother.
The Seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.
He fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.
Solomon, one of David’s sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
Jesus enunciated the Golden rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you.
The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.
St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
A Christian should have only one wife. This is call monotony.
Humor with a Purpose
Bloopers, though funny, are revealing. Our communication of Bible truths to our children can sometimes get lost in the translation. We may have spoken them correctly, but the hearing…now that is another story. A cure for corrupted truth is repetition. When we teach the Bible regularly and faithfully, we ensure that our children will hear and understand.
Long ago, the Lord of Heaven gave this commandment, “And these words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart; and you shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. And you shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates” (Deuteronomy 6:7-9).
Pastor Coe
Village Schools of the Bible 